is this venue for you? – questions for single guys.

singles parties vary widely. you can pay well over £100 in London and be assured of monitored sex with women who are paid to do that. our home is not a brothel. Couples and single ladies come here because they like a few good guys around. They don’t return if guys behave badly. below are some of the attitudes that put them off in the past: give yourself a score 1 (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree) for each attitude.

I wouldn’t dream of bringing my partner here. (thus the women at these parties deserve less respect than my partner on whom I cheat)

I might drink too much leading to coarse, disrespectful behaviour

the couples and ladies will surely come to me if I lurk in the shadows. (not usual. They expect to be courted.)

I will feel cheated and blame others or the venue if I don’t get lucky

I might get out of my depth then make loud unpleasant laddish comments

I feel safe in male groups stalking activity as it goes from room to room trying to escape unwanted attention

if a lady says ‘no’, I assume she is mistaken and I will persist until she understands how magnificent I am or I get my money’s worth

my hands are allowed to wander uninvited without the niceties of social foreplay.

score below 10 you are verminous. Stay at home for the benefit of mankind.

10-20 an over-priced brothel would suit you better.

21-34 think on it, then retake the self-assessment later to see if your breeding has improved.

35-39 Phone me (Janet) on 01923 859043 to tell me what punishment you will commit to invite upon yourself if you exhibit any of the above attitudes.

40 not credible. You have engineered your answers to be admitted. Repeat the assessment honestly.

above 40 enrol on adult numeracy classes – you can’t get more than 40.